Always
by Heston
Summary: Songfic set to "Always" by Saliva. HpSs slash. Very intresting...


I stare into his dark eyes, wanting him, knowing he wants the same thing. I gently run my hand down his cheek, tracing the curves of his face, my lips inching closer and closer to his. He just stares back at me with that emotionless face that he's become an expert at showing. I look into his eyes, hoping to see a sign, see anything that would tell me he feels the same way. That he wants me as badly as I want him. That he lusts after me. That he loves me too. Suddenly our lips touch, and it feels as though an electric current runs through me. God, I'll never get tired of his soft sweet lips. I close my eyes, and lean into our kiss. "Severus......"  
  
I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...  
  
it's telling me all these things...  
  
that you would probably hide...  
  
am I... your one and only desire...  
  
am I the reason you breath...  
  
or am I the reason you cry...  
  
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...  
  
I just can't live without you...  
  
He moves...I can feel his muscles moving under my body, but what is he doing? I slowly pull away, my eyes focusing on his face, then I look down. His hand is on my chest, pushing me away. What is he doing? I slowly look back up to him, our eyes connecting. For a spilt moment, his eyes betrayed him. His facade slipped and I knew. I knew what he was going to do. Oh, how he enjoyed being my torment. He pushed me farther away from him, creating a vast space that seemed to grow larger in seconds. I look at him....asking with my eyes: "why? why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me this way?"  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I breathe you...  
  
I taste you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take anymore...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I guess that i'm out the door...  
  
and now i'm done with you...  
  
He let's out a laugh, a smirk slipping onto his face. That all too familiar look that I know by heart. The one I see every time he's about to hurt me. I know what's coming, but yet I still can't seem to stop it.  
  
"Stupid boy. What makes you think that I would never find out? Never mind that, though. What makes you think that I would ever trust you?" he laughs again, each stabbing a knife into my heart. I feel tear pricking at my eyes. I won't cry in front of him. I won't give him that pleasure. "No, boy. I never really did. You must've known that. In any point, " He cocks his head to the side. " I think you know what needs to happen." I look at him, not knowing what to do.  
  
"what are you doing......" I barley whisper, disbelief held in my voice.  
  
I feel... like you don't want me around...  
  
I guess i'll pack all my things...  
  
I guess i'll see you around...  
  
Inside... it bottles up until now...  
  
as I walk out your door...  
  
all I hear is the sound...  
  
" It's simple. I don't want you anymore. I am done with you. Go on with your life and leave mine alone. Just because everyone else seems to be infatuated with you, does not mean I must be as well." He's saying it so calmly like he's enjoying it. How can he? He said he loved me! No! He doesn't mean it. He's just trying to protect himself again. I move towards him, reaching out to touch him, but he moves sharply from my reach. I look at him hurt. No. I look down at my outstretched hand, tears falling from my eyes. I let my arm fall to my side; I am so desperate to touch him. I can't take it anymore.  
  
"Do you want me to leave?"  
  
Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...  
  
I just can't live without you...  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I breathe you...  
  
I taste you...  
  
I can't live without you...  
  
I just can't take anymore...  
  
this life of solitude...  
  
I guess that i'm out the door...  
  
and now i'm done with you...  
  
Several seconds have passed. I don't hear an answer, but I still raise my stained face, looking for one. He's still smirking. He's enjoying this. He slowly walks towards me, and opens his arm, as a welcoming embrace. I look at him, suspicion all over my face. Is this a trick? No. It can't be. I run to him, throwing my arms around his waste. His arms encircle me, their warmth and strength calm me. I feel safe. He leans down pressing his cheek against mine. His breath tickling my ear. I breathe deeply. I love the way he smells.  
  
"You really do love me don't you?" He asked into my ear quietly. I nod into his shoulder, no trusting myself to speak. I feel a laugh rumble through his chest, then He sighs. I wonder what he is thinking. No. I don't want to know. I just want to stay like this, forever. slowly I feel him pulling back, his eyes locking with mine. "why would I want you to leave, silly boy? Why would you go and do something as foolish as that? no- no. That isn't what I said at all." he gave a little shake of his head, as if I were a five year old. " No. Stay. You know that you'll never leave me, Potter. I know that. You will be here no matter what I do or say. You will always be here.....always.."  
  
I love you...  
  
I hate you...  
  
I can't live without you... 


End file.
